On June 25, 1992, young Shah Rukh Khan made his Bollywood debut in the movie Deewana. At that time, there was no way to guess that a Delhi boy, who had already been recognized as a television actor, would one day become one of the biggest movie stars in Indian history. Fast forward 34 years and Shah Rukh Khan’s legacy is not just defined by his body of work, astounding box office rewards, iconic films and his massive fan base, but the expectations he accidentally created about love.
Somewhere along the train journeys, heartfelt monologues, open arms poses and grand declarations, Shah Rukh Khan made romance look a little too good.
This entire generation grew up with Shah Rukh Khan in the peak era of Indian cinema, believing, love isn’t supposed to be ordinary, it is supposed to feel like destiny.
Shah Rukh Khan’s characters from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (Raj waiting on Simran’s family to accept him), Kal Ho Naa Ho (Aman selflessly putting another’s happiness before his own) and Veer-Zaara (Veer waiting for his love for decades) made it clear that no single act constitutes “falling in love”, but a commitment to love on many levels that creates desire, thus raising expectations of the audience.
The issue is that real life rarely comes with background music.
No one is waiting outside your house in the rain to deliver a beautifully written speech. The majority of modern-day romances include people not replying to their messages, their plans changing and finding time between work deadlines. However, many of the viewers of Shah Rukh Khan’s films appear to still have a sense of romance that closely resembles an old-fashioned movie.
A lot of social media sites are filled with jokes about how SRK “ruined” men for women and made impossible expectations for relationships. The jokes have persisted over the years because they play on the experiences that the majority of people can relate to. There is a level of effort that his characters put into relationships that is appealing, they remember details and show up when it’s necessary and they make their loved ones feel like they are the focus of their universe.
This is one of the ways that Shah Rukh Khan is different from a lot of his peers.
At the time when there were so many action heroes who were larger-than-life on-screen, he created his character based on emotion and was never afraid to cry, display vulnerability or be an emotionally available man. Shah Rukh’s romantic heroes were doing this long before the term became popular in Western cultures.
The result was a generation that began to associate love not just with chemistry but with intention.
The history of film is to oversimplify what happens in real life; this usually happens in films that span a duration of approximately 3 hours give or take, then proceed to depict love as something that is ‘effortless’. They usually don’t continue the story after the “Happy Ever After” has passed? So, what happens next then you ask? Well, it is common knowledge that the realities of arguments, effort, compromises, and just daily “norms” are usually what sustain a healthy relationship (they don’t make for much suspense and drama and do not make the best of a story).
Movies always finish with the two characters getting together; this is at the end of the reel, not in real life.
However, even with all of the unrealistic expectations placed upon them by Shah Rukh Khan, his contribution has not been entirely negative. He popularised the idea that love takes effort, that showing affectionate feelings is more effective than assuming one has feelings for another person; that being there for someone is very important.
Possibly that’s the reason that his movies continue to be a source of comfort to many audiences after 34 years, as an example of another kind of love to aspire to be and not necessarily as an expectation that your life will be just like a movie featuring Shah Rukh Khan.
Thus, indeed, maybe Shah Rukh Khan has ruined romance for an entire generation.
But how can you compete with someone who has made the act of grand romantic gestures look easy for the past 34 years?
Then again, if his films convinced people that they deserve kindness, respect, sincerity and a partner willing to go the extra mile, perhaps those aren’t impossible standards at all. They just happen to come wrapped in the charm of Bollywood’s most enduring romantic hero.
